Tips for long-distance relationships: Away!

Note: This may apply to non-LDR couples, too. As long as on person is away, this post is applicable :) So read!

The purpose of this post is to provide those who are in a long-distance relationship (LDR) more insights on how to ROCK their relationships. The first post came about after the realization that lately, quite a number of friends have started engaging in this and most of them have trouble coping with LDR. And too many people have asked me how I cope.

LOL I am basically copying the introduction of the first post, "Making use of video calls" HAHAHA. Click here to read the earlier entry. So, hello, how have you been? I know it's been more than two weeks (I think) since the last post, but I hope it's not too late to share more things to do with LDR.

So, okay, as promised, I'll now blog about how to handle LDR when one person is away. Please note that I am no guru in LDR or emotional stuff. This is just being practical.

 

Leaving Kofu.

Away This post's definition of away? Not being at place of residence and not having own PC or laptop present, short term. For example, in circumstances where one person needs to go away for a weeks or a month in another state, or that person is just out for a few hours of shopping.

Exhibit 1: Reza lives in Kofu, but he's now working in Yokohama, a part-time job, living with his friends. He doesn't have a laptop with him. So he's away. Or he's playing PS3 with his friends. He's away.

Exhibit 2: I have a friend, Iylia, whose boyfriend is in Russia. Iylia went to Japan with me after her finals last year. So, Iylia, not being where she was supposed to be (KL) was considered away.

You're really witnessing it now. Just see her face HAHA.

Generally, when this happens to couples, it'll be dreadful- especially during the first few months of being in an LDR (or the first year). Because sometimes, calling an international number isn't that affordable (I will be covering this in another post), but sometimes, you just need to talk and know how each other's doing. The best option is that you still need to go online.

What the person who's away primarily needs is either a netbook or a smart phone (in fact, any phone that can detect wireless internet).

 These will be your new "away" best friends.

Why a netbook? For obvious reasons. You can make use of video calls, despite its size. It's just a laptop substitute.

If not, use a smart phone. Reza uses an iPhone, which is really, really cool. He's signed up to the unlimited 3G plan (he can use the net on his phone 24/7), but if that's not possible for the person's who's away, it's (almost) easy to get wireless services anywhere nowadays, so go online! Before that, the main application you need to install is Fring.

Fring The cool thing about Fring is, you can be on Live, Yahoo, Twitter and Skype all at the same time.

With Yahoo and Live Messenger: You can leave offline messages if the other person is not around. Or just chat.

With Twitter: Both of you can update each other's activities, even when you're not that free to talk. Tweet. Try it. It's weird to update statuses 24/7 at first but just try it.

With Skype: This is important- not only can you IM each other, you can call each other (phone to PC or PC to phone) for FREE. The best bit? VIDEO CALLS are supported!

For users iPhone, the downside is, only the person with the iPhone gets to view the person on PC, since iPhone isn't built with a camera at the front (at least not yet). This is for iPhone. I'm not sure about Blackberry and the rest.

How can you view the person away and with the iPhone (or any other phones?) The answer is... Qik!

Qik is a real-time video sharing site. It allows the person with the phone to broadcast live! You can broadcast yourself on the net anywhere (as long as you've got 3G services or the net on your phone). Get each other accounts and set them private- only viewable to each other. As one person broadcasts, the other person may get to see the broadcast on the net.

Click here to read about Qik and learn how to install it on your phone.

May sound weird to broadcast yourself or see your other half being broadcasted, but it's pretty cool if you ask me. The feeling is very different from video calling.

Plus, the videos gets saved on Qik. You can watch them over and over again.

dd

I was accompanying Reza while he walked the streets of Shinjuku.

Another note: To the price sensitive (like I was, back then), maintaining LDR may be a bit costly, but remember that those in LDR don't get to meet and spend time as often as other normal couples. LDR couples save from not going on dates, watching movies together and having lunch nor dinner- so why not allocate some amount of $$$ for cases when one person is away? Invest in a netbook or a smartphone :)

Or be like me. I carry the laptop almost everywhere I go. I don't care if it's balik kampung for just a night, my laptop will still be with me.

See, I even brought it to Melbourne just to Skype. That's right after my graduation ceremony last year.

So I guess that's enough for now. I will continue this "series" later. Don't worry, won't take me another two weeks heh. I'll post about how to survive when the person who's away is without any net connections next time. Clue: Making (almost) normal calls. Stay tuned!

p/s: Suggestions are very welcomed. You can just leave a comment :) Share your experience!

I can't get over it so...

The lace insert dress by Topshop.

The recent thing that I've learned about myself is that I won't stop until I get what I want.

Refer to this post.

Oh and before I forget. Asna went to the shoe section at Topshop KLCC, while I was checking the dress out. I guess she really liked the platforms and wanted to touch them, but my mom stopped her.

"Asna, you cannot touch the shoes. They're made of pig skin"

Asna, so ignorant and jolly, replied my mom.

"Ooh, pig skin?? I LOVE pigs!"

WTH.

Tips on being impossibly French!

Helen Frith Powell once replied my email. I like her LOL.

ALL YOU NEED TO BE IMPOSSIBLY FRENCH by Helena Frith Powell is a book bought on a whim. I enjoyed it so much. Like reading a magazine, only with 222 pages and zero photograph. Here's a proper post after reading it for the second time.

I never cared much for the French, despite the fact that they are known for their charm, elegance, allure, sexiness, style and everything else (you get what I'm saying). You won't believe the number of books written on this subject. The term femme fatale is French anyway. Well, this book revolves around French women and what makes them, uhm, well, French!

Ways of becoming more French:

It's in the state of mind
I think it's planted in the minds of the French, since they were young, that they need to look good, proper and alluring- it's in their state of mind. So to be more French, set a higher expectation on how you want to look or present yourself. Always be poised and composed! Never lose it. Always be in control.

 They are not exactly French, but they are poised.

When you wake up, walk and make decisions, think Rania, think Audrey!

Move it, move it!

French ladies aren't exactly into doing anything heavy for exercising. They go for plies, yoga and "move" when they they get the chance to.


Exhibit 1: One of the author's acquaintances used her husband to exercise- her husband enjoys sex, while this lady doesn't. She only sees sex as an opportunity to exercise. A win-win for them- husband is happy, she stays slim. HAHA. If only the guy knew...

Exhibit 2: French ladies look for the opportunity to move. Stairs or elevators? They'd choose the stairs.


I have started holding my stomach regularly thanks to this book (the author swears by it). You can also do bum clenches while stuck at a traffic jam or while working. These help firm muscles, I think.

Lingerie love
I must credit this book for changing the way I look at (and buy) lingerie. French ladies consider their lingerie just like their clothes- both equally important. They feel that they have to start from the inside to feel good about the their whole look. Well, some invest a lot in lingerie to seduce (they're French, they can't help it).

Department stores like Galaries Lafayette in Paris provides an unimaginably huge (for our standards at least) selection of lingerie- not a surprise as French ladies spend a lot on really good lingerie- it's part of their budget.

 Chantal Thomass lingerie.

The right lingerie can really alter a person's mood and transform how her body looks. It's not just the outside that counts, the inside may help give you a bigger impact. Don't simply buy cheap lingerie- invest in good ones that will complement and give proper support to your body. Consider them as investment!

"An underwear can either make or break you"

Beauty necessities and dressing right

I read that French bathrooms are like apothecaries. They're filled with jars and jars of creams and lotions. I don't really believe that creams can make a person slimmer or make thighs cellulite-free but they are firm believers of these things. They generally have several kinds of creams for their hands, to be used at different times a day! They also invest a lot in other beauty products like makeup and perfumes and have appointments with their beauticians regularly.

 Think this is enough? It really isn't. At least not for a typical French lady.

The way they maintain themselves may be too much for most of us, but I guess it's okay to take bits of their values and incorporate them in our lives. This book has reminded me that it is vital to take care of how I look (much more important that any bag I'm carrying). And after spending on, back then, an unusual amount on beauty products (never had I imagined five years ago that I'd be buying an RM80 per bottle of 250ml shampoo!) at one point and taking care of myself better, I realized the difference.

If you can afford it, go for a head-to-toe spa. If not, DIY!!! Scrub your whole body and slather good lotion onto your it. Get nails done at home. Wear a mask. You'll feel real great! This may be tiring and time-consuming, but once it's become a routine, you'll look awesome 24/7.

Just do it often. I'm a bit inconsistent in this department...


Also, dress like it matters EVERY TIME. Presentation is vital. As stated in the book:

"If someone is badly dressed or looks shabby, the French won't take them seriously. It's a sign that you cannot hold things together intellectually"

Be cultured

 

French women are aware of their literary past. They "outclass British and American equivalents in terms of education and conversation", as put by one of the author's friends. In France, women who are intelligent and knowledgeable are considered sexy. Reading chic-lits won't do. They read from literary authors. Try Collette.

"For French women, culture is as important as fashion"

Hmm. I've read a few (what I consider) literary fictions (because they were placed in the literature section of Kinokuniya HAHA). The heavier ones, The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood and Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. The rest, I suppose, are nothing comparable to what French women read.

No, studying literature in secondary school doesn't count. Don't cheat.

Also, French women would also queue a long line just to get into a museum or a new exhibition. Dare to be more cultured? Start small- visit the Petronas Gallery or RA Fine Arts ;)


By the way, however vain, Asna is the ultimate French FAIL when it comes to culture. My brother once showed her a painting by Picasso on google.

In an indifferent tone, all she had to say was:

"Oh, I can do that"

I really don't know how to react to that. I think it left my brother speechless.

Anyway, that's all I'm sharing- but there's more in the book (obviously). If you want to read the whole book (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND!), kindly visit Kinokuniya or just order the book from Amazon. Good luck in turning more French!

What I wore today

I did this in the Options, Futures and Risk Management class while listening to my lecturer, talking about credit default swaps and derivatives. After the lecture, I am now thinking of enrolling myself into the Contemporary Issues and Globalisation class instead. The lecturer was really good, but after a few classes of finance since undergraduate (even after getting distinctions and a high distinction for finance subjects), I think that it's time to stop going to classes that I have no interest in and to learn something that I actually like.

Oh, before I go off, the week I'm supposed to be in Japan, I have THREE major assignments to submit and one test to attend. OH THE HORROR!!!

It's okay. I can do it. YOSH!

p/s: Did you know that Cif can clean desks really well (not just bathroom doors and pots)? My desk is all set for the semester. I only have to bring the printer inside my room :)

Tips from Topshop's blogging workshop

A few weeks back, Topshop invited three big-time fashion bloggers to give a talk in a blogging workshop. Considering that the workshop was held in London, the authors of  Disney Roller Girl, Oh Elle and Coco's Tea Party have compiled tips for those who couldn't attend the workshop.

I got this from Coco's Tea Party. Interesting stuff and might be helpful for those of you who wish to start a blog or those who want to blog better. Happy blogging!!!

Working towards a dream

After a more than three-month break, the semester has started!

These are the units I'm currently taking:

I'm so glad I get to study economics (again) and international retailing. Something new!

I've been looking forward to the new semester to start. I love summer breaks, but I hate not having to use my brain as much. Sometimes, I think, when I do well in my studies, it's because I want to get good grades- it's something that makes me feel whole. In other words, I probably want the semester to start just because I can't wait for the rush of assignments and finals to start (although they may make me cry). It's not because I really love what I'm studying.

My lecturer, during my first week as a research assistant, urged me to apply for internship at several firms or MNCs, but after putting some thought into it, I know that's not what I want to do, those places are not places I want to work at. I know working under some firm, MNCs or government agencies is not what I see myself doing in the long run.

So, for the past two months, this has bothered me. I've been somewhat semi-jaded. I want to live in a dream that I create on my own, doing what I want to do. After working for different places and after the "shocks" I got and after realizing how they do business, I realized that I am not that adaptive. I can't work for a firm with values I find appalling. So that struck me, that maybe I'm meant to have my own firm instead.

Of course, I still need to gather some experience in relevant industries.

So after meeting a number of people, I thought that maybe I should make my goals less vague and really start strategizing now- before it's too late. I have to figure out what I really want to do and achieve in five years time and strive to make it a reality.

For now, my thoughts are jumbled up and I am still indecisive, but I've been talking to a few people and so far, have received good advices on this issue. I recently asked for my former schoolmate Najib's (he can be Malaysia's next business typhoon, I tell you!) opinion on this. He told me that:

"You CREATE the opportunity, rather than wait for it. So that wherever you end up, you'll find a way to optimize what you have to pursue your dreams"

"Try getting a job in relevant industries to gain experience and network, but if you don't end up in the industry you desire, it's okay. No matter where you end up, just focus on your goals"

"There are many uncertainties in life, so you have to be dynamic. You have to be visionary, you have to be flexible- because life is fast-paced and it's hard to predict trends. Analyze every option you have,  then find a way to get to your destination. Whatever happens, just stick to your goals"

So how does one begin? This is basic, but many of us tend to skip this:

• By writing down goals
• Adding ideas from time to time
• Improve ideas along the way and it will all soon become more realistic

Most importantly, in his words:

"You have to have a state of mind, ready to strive for what you want"

Not inspired enough? Read this, by a blogger whom I wish would post more. As for now, I think I have to put my thinking cap on and start writing, sketching or doodling about what I want- because people who make plans and try to achieve their goals tend to get a lot more.

The Topshop lace insert tunic dress

Lace Insert Tunic Dress by Topshop.

CONFESSION: I WANT THIS DRESS!!! I went to Klcc with my mom and cousin after the engagement ceremony last Saturday. At Topshop, my mom kept on pointing on a few lace dress and tops to me. She loves lace big time (always buying me some lace tops or dress for me, back when she still bought my clothes), so it didn't surprise me that she was more enthusiastic than I was, in the store, which was filled with lace and florals.

I have a weakness, I just realized last night, that I tend to buy things that the people I love like, or approve of. Back when I was deciding whether I wanted the blue House of Harlow bangles, I asked for Reza's opinion. He told me that it'd be great if the bracelet were purple and gold instead of blue and gold. Since then, I have been subconsciously looking for a purple bracelet- hence, the purchase of the Lagina. In purple!

Okay, back to the story. I saw this lovely pink dress with lace insert at Topshop. It's very charming, but I was about to ignore it, until my mom, who saw it first, kept complimenting the dress.

"See this dress, very cantik. The color is so sweet!", while touching and inspecting the dress.

"If you get this, you can pair it with a pair of leggings. Nice, kan?", while still touching the dress. I think she was imagining how I'd look with it.

"Very nice, why don't you try it? Hmm, but you have to remember, you can't spend that much since you're going to Japan"

See, she was already talking as if I was planning to get it, when I had no intention to do so!

Okay, the dress is very pretty, but I'm sure something like that would cost a lot, so I didn't bother looking at the price tag. I am supposed to save for the trip! Not spend more! Well, ironically, I went home and searched for it on net and found out that it's £60.00. So it's probably more than RM400 in KL.

But my mom likes it. Although it would shock her that I'd buy a dress (after the bracelets), I somehow feel obliged because she likes it. Reza even said it's pretty. Ohh!

This is how I plan to wear it:

OMG I cannot believe I even got on Polyvore for this. What am I doing??!! AMIRA GET OVER IT!!!

p/s: Or maybe get it if I have extra $$$ after the trip...