Tips for long-distance relationships: Away!

Note: This may apply to non-LDR couples, too. As long as on person is away, this post is applicable :) So read!

The purpose of this post is to provide those who are in a long-distance relationship (LDR) more insights on how to ROCK their relationships. The first post came about after the realization that lately, quite a number of friends have started engaging in this and most of them have trouble coping with LDR. And too many people have asked me how I cope.

LOL I am basically copying the introduction of the first post, "Making use of video calls" HAHAHA. Click here to read the earlier entry. So, hello, how have you been? I know it's been more than two weeks (I think) since the last post, but I hope it's not too late to share more things to do with LDR.

So, okay, as promised, I'll now blog about how to handle LDR when one person is away. Please note that I am no guru in LDR or emotional stuff. This is just being practical.

 

Leaving Kofu.

Away This post's definition of away? Not being at place of residence and not having own PC or laptop present, short term. For example, in circumstances where one person needs to go away for a weeks or a month in another state, or that person is just out for a few hours of shopping.

Exhibit 1: Reza lives in Kofu, but he's now working in Yokohama, a part-time job, living with his friends. He doesn't have a laptop with him. So he's away. Or he's playing PS3 with his friends. He's away.

Exhibit 2: I have a friend, Iylia, whose boyfriend is in Russia. Iylia went to Japan with me after her finals last year. So, Iylia, not being where she was supposed to be (KL) was considered away.

You're really witnessing it now. Just see her face HAHA.

Generally, when this happens to couples, it'll be dreadful- especially during the first few months of being in an LDR (or the first year). Because sometimes, calling an international number isn't that affordable (I will be covering this in another post), but sometimes, you just need to talk and know how each other's doing. The best option is that you still need to go online.

What the person who's away primarily needs is either a netbook or a smart phone (in fact, any phone that can detect wireless internet).

 These will be your new "away" best friends.

Why a netbook? For obvious reasons. You can make use of video calls, despite its size. It's just a laptop substitute.

If not, use a smart phone. Reza uses an iPhone, which is really, really cool. He's signed up to the unlimited 3G plan (he can use the net on his phone 24/7), but if that's not possible for the person's who's away, it's (almost) easy to get wireless services anywhere nowadays, so go online! Before that, the main application you need to install is Fring.

Fring The cool thing about Fring is, you can be on Live, Yahoo, Twitter and Skype all at the same time.

With Yahoo and Live Messenger: You can leave offline messages if the other person is not around. Or just chat.

With Twitter: Both of you can update each other's activities, even when you're not that free to talk. Tweet. Try it. It's weird to update statuses 24/7 at first but just try it.

With Skype: This is important- not only can you IM each other, you can call each other (phone to PC or PC to phone) for FREE. The best bit? VIDEO CALLS are supported!

For users iPhone, the downside is, only the person with the iPhone gets to view the person on PC, since iPhone isn't built with a camera at the front (at least not yet). This is for iPhone. I'm not sure about Blackberry and the rest.

How can you view the person away and with the iPhone (or any other phones?) The answer is... Qik!

Qik is a real-time video sharing site. It allows the person with the phone to broadcast live! You can broadcast yourself on the net anywhere (as long as you've got 3G services or the net on your phone). Get each other accounts and set them private- only viewable to each other. As one person broadcasts, the other person may get to see the broadcast on the net.

Click here to read about Qik and learn how to install it on your phone.

May sound weird to broadcast yourself or see your other half being broadcasted, but it's pretty cool if you ask me. The feeling is very different from video calling.

Plus, the videos gets saved on Qik. You can watch them over and over again.

I was accompanying Reza while he walked the streets of Shinjuku.

Another note: To the price sensitive (like I was, back then), maintaining LDR may be a bit costly, but remember that those in LDR don't get to meet and spend time as often as other normal couples. LDR couples save from not going on dates, watching movies together and having lunch nor dinner- so why not allocate some amount of $$$ for cases when one person is away? Invest in a netbook or a smartphone :)

Or be like me. I carry the laptop almost everywhere I go. I don't care if it's balik kampung for just a night, my laptop will still be with me.

See, I even brought it to Melbourne just to Skype. That's right after my graduation ceremony last year.

So I guess that's enough for now. I will continue this "series" later. Don't worry, won't take me another two weeks heh. I'll post about how to survive when the person who's away is without any net connections next time. Clue: Making (almost) normal calls. Stay tuned!

p/s: Suggestions are very welcomed. You can just leave a comment :) Share your experience!