Asna’s gone to boarding school for a while now. After months of waiting, the result came out. Everything was prepared and packed for her before she even got the offer ?
When I asked her if she was ready to go:
“Yes, it’s for the best. It’s for my future.”
She had to add…
“That’s what Mama says.”
I attended her registration day, along with the rest. The place has a very nice landscape as it is situated in the valleys.
After the tour of the school and class, we went to her dorm to set up her place. There were only 4 students in one dorm and each have their own bed and locker. While Mama was sorting her things out with the help of Bibik, I caught Asna staring into space. She’s probably processing what was happening then.
That was her consistent answer when I asked.
I was actually worried. Growing up, she didn’t have to do many things on her own, as I did. During primary school I already knew how to make food, even wash, dry and iron my clothes. Everyone was there to cater to her. How was she going to survive? I also wonder how it would be to share space. I grew up having a space of my own, where I get to control and being given the right to choose on most things. Asna, too. How was she going to deal with shared spaces with people of different personalities (more importantly, hygiene!) and conforming to so many rules?
If it were me, I would have prepared myself mentally. Instead, in her last week at home she went out as much as she could, hardly ever processing that she was going to enter into a new phase in life kot.
I took a picture of her as she was sitting on her bed in her dorm and made a meme out of it. In the picture she looked so anxious LOLOL. I drew a thought bubble on top of her and wrote “God help me!!!”. I showed the picture to her later on our way to lunch, outside of the school and she laughed (picture pending Asna’s clearance).
“This is so accurate!!!”
“You cakap you’re okay?”
“I tell you I’m okay, but inside… God help me!!!”
Just before we left the place that late afternoon, there were less people at the dorms. Her dorm was almost empty, as the parents of her dorm mates have all left. One by one, they were lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, sometimes holding their phones. All probably processing that this was it.
Asna grew quieter. I think it got worse after I brought her to the bathroom, explaining her how to shower modestly in a public bathroom without a towel hook and using the toilets, some clogged and reeking.
Before we left, she refused to bid farewell properly, obviously because we were in front of her new mates. Parents were fine, Mama especially reassured Asna that everything will be fine. Bibik cried though, Asna was her job before the day she was born and now that she was going to live on her own, I think Bibik died a bit inside.
Before we left, Mama said to Asna:
“If I can do it, you can do it, too Asna.”
At the moment she said that, I also thought, “If I can’t do it, how can Asna?”
Also… what a stark contrast to Mama refusing to consider sending me to a boarding school because she didn’t want to put me through what she was put through (I remember very clearly how she specifically mentioned the bathrooms and toilets) HAHAHAHAHA.
When we left, her face was pale. Everything was setting in ?
I text Asna everyday to keep track of how her day has been going. So far she’s actually enjoying life, not missing home that much. She got used to everything and enjoying doing things on her own.
I couldn’t believe it awal-awal.
Then Reza said:
“You je yang tak boleh tahan asrama. I rasa Asna okay je.”
Only then did it hit me that he’s right. We’re made of different things and although Asna grew up more spoiled, she has higher tolerance for things that I may not and is more adaptable than I give her credit for.